I Will Always Love You
by Hideinyoureyes101
Summary: James/OC. Believed to be one-sided. Huge flashback; When Kyla and Emily move out to Hollywood, they meet up with old friends. Old friends brings up memories of old hurt.
1. Truth is Revealed

Kyla Sanchez was not your everyday girl, and all her friends knew it. She was apathetic and laid back, often open-minded and spoke on her own behalf. In Minnesota, you can find an awful lot of people like that. There was just something about Kyla that made her different. Most people thought she was boring and too emotionless, seeing as they never saw her cry, never saw her upset. She never got mad, barely raised her voice any louder than a scold.

See, Kyla wasn't always that way. When she was younger, before her mom died, she was lively. She always smiled, bounced around, just enjoyed everything about life. She marveled everything around her. She was a perfect mixture of her mother and father. Her hair: father's. Big green eyes: mother. Skin: both of them. Her personality: her mother's. But, the day her mother died, the life seemed to, literally, be sucked right out of her. After a while, they'd all expected her to move on. She never did.

Currently, she had changed slightly. She'd crack a joke and maybe, you'd see her smile. It was highly unlikely. If she did smile, it was fake and phony. She'd laugh, but there was never humor to it. It was always blank and lacked any enthusiasm. She was 14 years old, definitely morphing into her beautiful parents everyday. However, even at the slightest mention of her mother, she'd cringe and instinctively change the subject.

"Ky!" Slowly but surely, Kyla looked over her shoulder. She saw the bright smile of her male best friend, Kendall, right in front of her. She nodded and turned back to what she was doing: her homework. It sat sprawled all over the resteraunt table-top, papers all around. Her forehead rested on both of her hands, her fingers holding her bangs. "Whaaaaatcha doin'~?"

"Homework," came the monotonous reply. Kendall walked around her table, sitting down in front of her, sliding some of the papers to face him for a better perspective. He looked up at her quizically. She let out a small grunt, "I've been...falling...a bit behind recently. Okay," she finally released her forehead, closing her books, sliding them off to the side of the table closest to the window. She pulled her soda to her mouth and took a sip, "now you have my full attention, Mr. Knight."

Said boy's smile grew wider and wider until it reached his ears. "Guess where the boys and I are going," he said, trying to contain his excitement. Kyla shrugged, sucking the last bit of soda from the straw, leaning back in the chair. "Well, I'll give you a hint. It's quite a ways a way and it rhymes with Jollygood."

Soda spurted across the dining hall, making a mist of Cherry Coca-Cola. "Wh-what?" she gasped, holding over her mouth, stomach, and nose. Kendall nodded, his smile never leaving his face. "When are you leaving?"

"Well, we're leaving tomorrow night. We're packing up today and heading out tomorrow."

"Oh," was all that came. Despite her heart being broken and ripped to shreds at the very second, she pulled that fake smile. "I'm happy for you guys."

"Thanks for your support, Kyla! We were going to go ice-skating later, then maybe grab some pizza as a last night here. Would you like to come?"

"S-sure. Can I bring Emily?" Emily was her other best friend.

"Yes."

"Cool."

Both stood, Kyla's things in her arms. They nodded to each other as Kendall got ready to order lunch, Kyla headed for the door. She needed to get away and fast. Lucky for her, her house was only two blocks away. She made the walk with ease, staring at the plain door of her house. She pushed open the door, setting her books on the bedside table. Her dad wouldn't be home until late. He had to work. When he had to work, he wouldn't drink. When he didn't drink, she didn't suffer. When she didn't suffer...what was there to be an upside to?

She made her way up to her bedroom, pulling her shoes off as she went. She looked into her bathroom, her eyes slowly welling up. She looked at the sandal in her hand before rearing her hand back, sending the sandal flying at the mirror. It didn't shatter, but it definitely left a mudprint. She backed her way onto a wall, slowly sliding down, her face in her hands. How could this be happening? The boys who made her life exciting were leaving. The ones who made her suffer all the abuse of her father were going away. They gave her the strength. She slowly stood up and walked into her bathroom. She yanked open the drawer, her hands digging in. Her fingers grazed it's cool, metallic surface. She yanked out the razor and brought it up to eye level.

She sighed and lifted up her shirt sleeve.

~One Year Later~

Big Time Rush had become pretty popular. The news reached around the country, but not a whole bunch of people were too fond of the band. Kyla noted the boys' dreams, and once she and Emily had seen the band's picture, they had decided where they were moving too: Hollywood, California. She looked out of the window of the car, looking over the new surroundings. So many buildings. She marveled as they drove past a few signs, but she ignored every one.

"Are you excited?"

"Hm?"

Emily chuckled. "We're going to find the boys."

"Oh..."

"What's up?"

"Ne? Nothing. I was just looking," Kyla resumed her look back out the window. Emily shrugged and looked back at the road. She'd gotten a job in modelling and had the choice of New York or Hollywood. She and Kyla had looked over both places and decided on Hollywood. They'd packed up and the agency found a place for them to stay. A place called "Palm Woods." Emily had laughed when she heard the name and questioned the amount of single guys, earning a punch from Kyla. Despite that, she still laughed. Even now, in the car, as the building came into view, she burst into laughter at the words. They paced inside and grabbed their key from Mr. Bitters and checked into their new room. Sure, it was pretty bland, but it was in great shape. The company Emily had signed for offered to pay for whatever rennovations they wanted to make and any furniture. They accepted.

"I have to make a phone call," purred Emily, digging her phone from her pocket. She pressed a number, held it, and put the phone to her ear. "Hey! I have something I wanted to mail to you...what's your address?" She dug through her bag for a piece of paper and set it on the counter, yanking out a pen as well. "Yep... Yep... Uh-huh.. Slow down!... Okay... Okay, thanks!" She hung up and waved the paper eagerly. "Ready to make a quick visit?"

Kyla and Emily made their way down the hallway, both being stealthy and quiet. Surprisingly, for a Wednesday, no one was out, roaming the halls. They made their way to the apartment that Carlos had given Emily. Both stood on either side of the door. Emily mouthed 'ready' and Kyla nodded. Both stuck out a fist and pounded on the door, resuming their positions. The door opened, a grumbling noise was heard. Definitely Carlos.

"Eeeeee! Carlos!" squealed Emily, turning her corner before jumping onto the shorter boy. He fell over backwards, Emily still stuck onto his figure. Kyla stepped from the shadows and watched calmly. After the sudden compulsion of who they were settled down, all fell calm.

"So, what're you guys doing out here?" Carlos asked, leaning against the apartment door. They glanced at each other and simply explained it from Emily's perspective. Although he was a bit skeptical, Carlos finally decided the answer was good enough and apologized for having to go early. "I have to get ready. We record in an hour. I'll see you girls later. Dinner later?"

"It's o~on!" Emily growled playfully, snapping her wrist like a cat. Both laughed as he disappeared into the room and they made their way down the hall. "Man, I forgot how short he was..." she mused, her head tilting back. Kyla nodded silently. She'd been awful quiet, and Emily had noticed. She decided to let it slide. "I remember the day they left..."

While Emily went off into her own thoughts, Kyla had her head elsewhere. She wanted to crawl into a hole. Yes, she was happy, but she didn't think she'd have the strength to call them again.

~Flashback! :D~

Kyla had left her house. She'd been out with Emily, who was just starting to model, when she realized her phone was back at home. She sighed. She should've brought it, just in case. She was used to no phone calls, but it she still prayed for the phone call, text message, voicemail from her friends. Six months with nothing. Emily approached from the dressing room, smiling. Kyla smiled her usual smile and both walked out to the car, speeding home, Emily telling tales of how her experience was. The raven-haired girl never muttered a word, but nodded and would say "mmm" or "mmhm" every now and again.

They pulled into the driveway and Kyla hurried into the house. She ran straight for her bedroom and yanked her phone off the table. Fourteen missed calls, five voicemails, 37 text messages, and three pic messages. Her eyes widened as she ignored the missed calls and called her voicemail, making her way to the kitchen. She pulled out a can of soda as the voicemail started playing.

"Ky~y!" came the familiar voice. She splurred her soda across the room, her hand going over her mouth. It couldn't be! She grabbed a napkin and began to clean up the mess she had made. "Kyyyy, it's meeeee, Kendallllll! I tried calling your house, but your dad said you weren't there, so I figured you'd answer your phone. Ooookay, well, happy birthday, Ky! I love you, sister!"

She could feel tears sting at the corners of her eyes, but she saved the message and opened the next voicemail. "Oh Kyla Marie Sanchez, did you really think you could avoid me this easily?" she gulped at Carlos' voice, but shook her head, tossing the napkin into the trash. "I wanted to tell you that we've been having fun, but we miss you and Emily more. Happy birthday, chicka-loo! Call back soon!" She swallowed the lump in her throat, her finger saving the message and let it play the next.

"Kyla?" Logan's voice was calm, yet held a slight bit of nervousness. She pushed herself from the floor and walked down the hallway, her eyes glued straight ahead. The tears had yet to fall. She turned into her room and flopped on the bed. "Kyla, we're getting worried. I guess you turned your phone off today, huh? Sorry. We've just been busy and haven't gotten around to calling yet. Well then...guess I'll be going." Logan was always seemingly worried around her. She knew why, but always ignored it. "Happy birthday, Kyle. Hope it's going well for you."

Her finger grazed the buttons as she sat up against the headboard as the last voicemail started. "Hey Maria," she felt her breathing stop at the voice. Never had that happened. She bit into her lower lip. "It's James, obviously." She put a hand over her heart, trying to calm the surge of anxiousness going through her bloodstream. "I know we haven't been calling lately, but I wanted to let you know...GUYS, I'M RECORDING A VOICEMAIL, GET OUT!" She loosened her grip on her lip, seeing as a small bit of blood had begun making it's way down her face. "Sorry. Anyway, I'll make this short. Call me back, Kyle. I miss you. We all do. We all love you, too. So, happy birthday. Bye."

"One last voicemail..." she said quietly, letting the next one play. All it was was a rhythm. That's when she heard it: six voices, singing. She could tell you who each voice belonged to. Mrs. Knight, Katie Knight, Kendall, Carlos, James, Logan, all of them. As soon as the singing ceased, she realized that she had begun crying. Tears had fallen into her lap, drenching her legs with their warmth. She hurried through the text messages, all from friends and family (and the boys), saying happy birthday, asking questions, pointless things. She opened the first picture. It was the stuffed animal she'd won when she was in first grade, three years before her mother's passing. It had been a caramel-brown bear that she dubbed "Rusty". It had buttons for eyes, and she'd accidentally ripped one eye out. She'd given it to Kendall, remembering his dad had left. That's how their friendship had started. In front of the bear was a small notecard, and, in big, bold letters, read: 'Remember Rusty? He's helping me wish you a happy birthday!' Tears cascaded down her pale face and neck.

The next picture was a piece of paper, big red letters written on top, a sticker to the side, and a blocked letter question: "Your friends just gave you 12 sparkle markers, now you have 19! How many sparkle markers did you have before your friends gave you 12?" She cleared her throat, blocking the sob from escaping. That's how she'd befriended Logan and James. They'd sat at the same table in 2nd grade. She'd gotten frustrated at that very math problems, as had James. Both pestered Logan for minutes at recess, seeing as he was the top of 2nd grade class. Finally, he caved and helped them both. They'd all three aced the paper and celebrated happily.

The last picture was of a swingset with a child's bike parked next to it. She instantly caught on, bringing her sweater sleeve up to wipe away the tears. There was no text. But that was where she'd met Carlos. He'd been riding his bike past the playground while she was swinging. He had wrecked on his bike a few meters away. She had hurried over, only being a third grader, and was worried silly. He looked up at her and smiled toothily. He'd already lost his two front teeth, adding onto the childish face. She'd taken him back to her house to patch up the scrape on his knee. At the time, he hadn't been wearing a helmet, but luckily, nothing happened. She scolded him, her hands on her hips. He finally gave up and went home to get a helmet.

She couldn't breathe. Tears had begun to fall rapidly, leaving her body wet. She dialed the number to their room in the hotel and, sure enough, sat on the phone for the rest of the night, talking with each of the boys.

~End Flashback~

She didn't _want _to think about the day before they left. Brought too much pain. The hours flew by and they agreed to go and visit their friends. Kyla pulled on her shoes as they walked down the hallway.

~F.F, because I'm a lazy cow D~

All six teenagers were sprawled out on the sand of a beach, staring up at the sky. Kendall and Emily had decided to walk off, Carlos had made Logan mad, and they had started a chase up and down the shoreline, leaving Kyla and James alone. Said boy was watching stars, pointing them out. Every time his hand would go up, Kyla made a mental note of the bandana on his wrist. She knew he wasn't depressed, but even before he left, he had a bandana addiction, and any of the teens could tell you that. She closed her eyes and put her hands behind her head.

"So, why'd you come to Hollywood?" asked James, breaking their silence.

"I told you, because Emily's job." She snapped. The conversation died. Kyla sat up. She could feel tears stinging at her eyes again and she tried to tell herself not to cry. She knew she was a bigger peson than crying. "I...I've missed you...all of you."

"Maria."

"Mmm?"

"What's on your mind?"

James, who was always joking and immature, had suddenly gone to sincere and caring. She burrowed further into her sweater, biting her lip. "The...the last time we saw each other... You had no regret. You seemed perfectly fine with leaving Minnesota. Do you remember what you last told me, James?"

"No."

"You last told me that you were growing up. I asked you what you were talking about..."

James shook his head, trying to erase the memories.

"You said that you were growing up again. I watched you...watched you drink your soda and bowl. You came back and sat down. I stared at you, waiting for more. You told me that since you were growing up and leaving, you might forget me. You might forget me and find someone who was perfect; blonde, skinny, tanned. I told you you were stupid. You smiled at me. You said not to forget you, but you told me if you forgot me, it'd be for the best if I forgot you, too..." His face cringed at the memory. Tears raced down her face. "I-I never did, James David Diamond. I'd always go back to the photo album my mom had put together of us. I still updated it up until the day you guys left. I...there's no way, I would ever forget you. I can't...forget you. It's like loosing a body part...you had it once, and it may be gone, but you still remember it.

"I'm done talking. I would like to thank you though, for your voicemail. It meant the world to me..." She slowly stood up, dusting herself up. "I love you, James. I always will, no matter what type of bimbo you fall in love with, marry, have kids with... _I...will always...love you..." _She choked out. She turned and left the beach, her eyes hazed over.


	2. UnIntentional Hurt

**Chapter Two:**

**(Un)Intentional Hurt**

Days passed. The only people who knew of the "incident," and, naturally, it was the two involved in it. Kyla had secluded herself to her room, only coming out when absolutely required. Emily had started to get worried. She began to backtrack things. What - or who - would make Kyla lock herself in her room? It took a lot of thinking. While she was thinking, she tried to get into the bedroom. The door was locked and music played quietly in the background. It was quiet enough not to disturb others in the next apartment, but loud enough to block out Emily.

"Kyla! Kyla Marie Sanchez, open this door right now!" she shouted, pounding her fists on the door. The only response was the music turning up a tad. Emily snarled to herself. Finally, she realized, or assumed she realized, what, more like WHO, was the cause. She stepped away from the door and walked to the livingroom, pulling her jacket off the shelf. She stomped out of the aparment, her eyes finally narrowing. She looked down both sides of the hall before running. Run she did. She turned a corner, nearly slamming in to a stranger. She dodged and apologized over her shoulder. She turned yet again and called for the elevator. Luckily, the ride was short. Since it was one in the afternoon, most people were at work. She, however wasn't. The elevator reached it's destination and she ran out the slowly opening doors. She checked the halls and ran to the room she was looking for. She brought her hands up and began pounding on the door. There was a bit of ruckus before the door opened casually. "Katie! Where are the boys?"

"They said they were at the pool."

"Thanks!" With that, Emily ran off in the direction of the pool. The elevator took too long, so she resulted to the stairs. She slid down the rail, hopped down, and continued the process until she reached the bottom floor. She looked around the lobby. It was practically deserted, with the exception of the few kids using their laptops. She stormed out to the pool area, looking around. She spotted the sources she was looking for. She took a deep breath, swallowing the anger that had been boiling up deep inside the pits of her stomach. She closed her eyes and walked calmly over to the chairs, standing on the side of Logan. She glanced them all up and down before walking to the foot of the chairs. Her eyes caught on to a certain brunette boy and she launched herself at him, grabbing his shoulders in her hands, slamming him back against the chairs. All three of the boys sat up, instantly staring. James sat, wide-eyed, as he felt himself being beat against the chair. "You're such a bastard! A dumbass, low-life, self-centered, sexist, pretty-boy, idiotic, faggotish bastard!"

As the threats continued spurring from her mouth, Kendall snatched her up and off of the taller boy's lap, holding her back enough so she couldn't reach. "Emily! Calm the hell down!" He yelled, almost begged.

"He fucking BROKE Kyla! He BROKE HER! I'll do whatever-the-fuck I please, Kendall Knight! Fucking let go of me!" She shouted. Some people at the pool had turned in the direction, but quickly looked away. Sure, Emily had gotten mad before and yelled. But never, EVER had she reacted like this. She'd never phsyically tried to hurt anyone, let alone one of the boys. Kendall yanked her back further, holding her in the air. Her legs began thrashing, her eyes reading rage. "He's got everything co-"

"What do you mean I 'broke' Kyle?" James asked solemnly.

"I don't fucking know! She's been locked in her room for the past four days or so! The last person she's talked to was you, so obviously whatever the fluck happened between you two has definitely mentally broken her!" Kendall let go, seeing as now she was only shouting. She raised a finger and pointed it at James. "Since YOU broke her, YOU'RE going to FUCKING FIX HER!"

_**LATER?**_

Sure enough, after a couple hours away from James, Emily had calmed down, only enough to let him into the apartment. She was dragged off by Carlos and Logan, leaving Kendall and James at the apartment. Kendall gave James a knowing look and watched as said boy disappeared into the aparment's hallway. He approached the room at the end of the hall, the only room that seemed to stand out. He knocked lightly, seeing as there was no music. No answer came, so he ever-so gently twisted the doorknob. It opened with ease, but there was no Kyla in the room. He looked to the room's bathroom. The door was shut, but light just barely poked from the crevices. He walked and grabbed the doorknob. It wouldn't twist: locked. He knocked on the door. When no response came, he was worried. He continued knocking. The lack of response was all he got. He backed up and sent a foot flying into the door. It opened. Brown eyes widened at the sight.

Kyla sat, a small pool of blood in front of her. It stained the white marbled-tile of the bathroom floor a bright crimson color. The source of the blood was her forearms. The worst part of all of this? She still _looked up at him _and then _continued_. She brought the blade up, their eyes locked together, as she slowly pressed it to her pale flesh and pulled it down. He raced over and held one arm against the wall, the one with the blade, and used his other hand to pull it from her hand. She didn't protest, just looked back to the floor, blank-faced. James pulled her off the ground and over to the sink, splashing water onto the cuts. Peroxide came next. Through all of the peroxide drippings and the sizzle it seemed to give off when it hit her flesh, Kyla didn't once make a face. She just stared at the ground. James hurriedly wrapped up her arm and pulled her into her bedroom, making her sit on the bed.

"You've got a lot of explaining to do," He said seriously, staring at her. She looked up, shook her head, and looked back down. "Then I'm going to get Kendall. We'll both wait until you explain." With that, James left the room, leaving the door open.


	3. Lies We Tell Ourselves

Chapter 3: Lies We Tell Ourselves

James went out into the hallway to get Kendall. Just from the sound of his voice, Kendall knew something was wrong. He stood and walked with James back to the bedroom.

"Be aware," the brunette said, looking down at the floor, "that this may not be the greatest thing you'll see."

Kendall nodded and opened the door. Kyla had gotten under her covers, just sat up, staring at the comforter. His eyes surveyed her up and down before landing on the bandages. His eyes widened as he walked forward, sitting on the edge of the bed. He took a bandaged arm in his hand and looked at the blood that continued to seep through.

"Ky.. Wh... What did you... Why did you..." Kendall couldn't fill the empty spaces. He took a deep breath, holding it for longer then he should've. "Will you talk about what y- happened with us?"

The only answer was silence. Time passed. James had gotten a deck of cards and convinced Kendall to play Speed with him. Both boys sat on the floor with Kyla still sat on the bed, never moving her eyes. Kendall got frustrated and swiped the cards to the side. James looked up at him with a shocked face. Kendall got up and pounced onto the bed, taking Kyla's shoulders in each of his hands.

"Kyla! Why the hell would you do something like this? We've always been here to listen to you!" Kendall's voice grew louder and louder. The girl's eyes never met his face. He felt tears sting at the corner of his eyes, but refused to let them fall. He gave her shoulders a final shake before letting go. "Why didn't you ever come to us for help? What convinced you to hurt yourself?"

"What convinced me?" the now shaking voice asked. Her hair had fallen into her face, but by her voice, she was crying. "A lot convinced me."

"When did you start?" asked James from the floor.

"Let's see. My mother died. Two weeks after, my dad was constantly hitting on my aunt. She continuously turned him down and eventually, he gave up. After that, he became depressed. He'd stay in his room and wouldn't come out until school was over. Even then, he mainly stayed in that dumb bedroom." Kyla sighed, her voice slowly growing steadier. "Then, he discovered his personal relief: alcohol. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get rid of it all. I couldn't bring myself to talk to you guys about it: it made me feel like I was a burden.

"Dad was never violent. But, when he found tequila and whiskey, he grew violent. Anything wrong I did, leave a speck of dust, I'd get smacked. One day, I was doing the dishes and I accidentally cut my finger on a knife. It was the greatest relief I ever felt. I read about kids just like me who cut themselves on purpose. I discovered it was quite a thrill. I could tolerate anything my dad did as long as I had my blade."

"That's sickening," Kendall admitted, staring down at his hands. James nodded in agreement, but Kyla only scoffed.

"It may be sick, but it progressively got worse: my dad did more then the blade. He told me I was worthless, that I didn't pay attention to mom when she got sick. The put downs PLUS the abuse got too much, so I continued to go back to my dear sweet razor. Never once thought anything else of it, really. It was simple: instead of venting and crying, I could solve it like that! Then that day..." both boys instantly knew what she was talking about, "...I found out you guys were leaving... I couldn't stop. Only after Emily called did I realize I got one last chance to see you guys.

"Eventually, after you left, nothing got better, only worse. I got sick of it and went to court, taking my dad. I decided I wanted to get emancipated and live on my own. None of my relatives wanted to take me. So, I got out and moved out here with Emily. There. Are you happy? Now you know everything." She ended her story with a blank expression. Tears had fallen, but her voice remained stoic.

"We...We were just a ph-"

"No you weren't. Not after you got signed."

"Why didn't you stop?" Kendall asked, staring at Kyla with a saddened expression. Her face darkened and she grinned.

"I kept telling...lying...to myself that if I kept doing it, eventually you guys would come back, maybe my dad would stop drinking. I lied to myself, telling myself that everything was just fine and that soon, there would be no more hurt left."


	4. Didn't Want To Tell You

Chapter 4: Didn't Want To Tell You

Silence followed the confessional. Kendall had gotten up and begun pacing around the room. Kyla had sat, staring down at her hands. James, still, sat on the floor, only he was staring off into space, almost as if trying to comprehend everything.

"How long...have you not done it?" James finally asked, looking up to the figure on the bed. Her green eyes looked to the source of the voice, locked on for a few minutes, then went back down.

She finally cleared her throat. "About six months," the words came out quickly and quietly.

More silence. Finally, Kyla let go. Let go of the memories, of the pain, of everything that she held bottled up. She let out a low, barely audible sob. Slowly but surely, the sobs grew louder and stole the peacefulness of her small body. She shook and covered her face in her hands. Kendall bit his fingers, trying to think of something to say. He stopped pacing and threw his hands up in frustration, covering his own face. James looked down at his hands and blinked. Six months without touching a razor until she saw him. _Six months_! Six months and he ruined that! All of it! The girl's sobs never ceased, only got more powerful. She'd slow her crying, move her hands, catch sight of both boys then resume sobbing wildly.

Finally, the sobbing slowed. She moved her small hands from her face and wiped away whatever tears would fall and began sniffling. She took a deep breath and her body regained it's peace. She coughed and hugged her body tight, looking up and over at Kendall.

"I...I...I just want to sleep..." Kyla choked, pulling the covers up onto herself. Kendall sat down on one side of her. James got off the floor and walked to the bed, sitting next to her as well. Kyla laid back, curling up into a ball.

"Just one more thing," Kendall muttered.

"Yeah...?"

"Why would you think you couldn't tell us?"

Kyla yawned. "I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want to bother you with my problems. You all had problems of your own." With that, she fell asleep.


	5. Fade to Black

**Sorry about the shorter last chapter.. Hope this one makes up for it. :))**

**By the way, thanks for the support guys. :)**

_"Where are we going, Mommy?" a young Kyla asked, staring happily at her mother. The beautiful brunette woman shook her hair, giving a wide smile._

_ "Like I said before, baby, it's a surprise!" Shannon answered, reaching across the seat to pat her daughter gently on the head. The car pulled up to a stop light. Shannon looked through the rain, watching eagerly at the stop light. For her daughter's 9th birthday, they were going to celebrate it like mother and daughter. Shopping, going for lunch, catching a movie. Kyla pressed her face to the glass, her eyes surveying the outside world. The raindrops fell down the window at a fast speed, making puddles that overflowed at the bottom._

_ Shannon pulled from the spot, driving slowly but carefully through the intersection. She loved rain, just hated driving in it. The weather had said sunny all day, but you know TV. Can't trust those anchormen and weather-folk. She sped up, watching the headlights through the fog. Not wanting to hit anyone, she pulled carefully up to the mall._

_ "Okay, Kyla Marie, are you ready?" asked Shannon, unhooking her seatbelt. Kyla followed her mother's lead, both getting out of the car. Several hours of shopping later, they were both carrying armfuls of bags from the store. The bags were swiftly deposited into the trunk of the car and the car started, lurching into the street. They pulled into the stop light of the intersection. As they pulled onto the crossing section, a loud squeal was heard and Shannon turned to look off into the distance. A speedy, uncontrolled black car slid across the rainy pavement, slamming into the side of the car. The car rolled, still being propelled by the opposite vehicle. Shannon screamed, Kyla cried._

_ Suddenly, all was quiet. The car remained upside down, the other car pressed firmly to the side of the Sanchez's car. _

_ Kyla grabbed onto her mother's cardigan sweater and shook, tears flowing from her eyes. "Mommy? Mommy! MOMMY!" Kyla screamed. Shannon turned her head, blood pouring from the side of her mouth. She smiled and cupped Kyla's face in her hand, smiling widely._

_ "I love you, Kyla," whispered Shannon, slowly leaning up to kiss her daughter lightly on the forehead. She released her daughter's face and smiled, her eyes slowly closing. Kyla screamed, holding onto her mother._

_ "I love you mommy! Mommy? Mommy! Answer me! Mom! Maaa! Answer me, please! Please don't die!"_

Kyla sat up in bed, her eyes wide, sweat beading down her face, her body trembling. It was the first time she had remembered the day perfectly, let alone dream about it. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.


	6. I Promise

James Diamond was capable of sleeping through almost anything. If he wanted to, he could probably sleep through a massive earthquake and wake up unharmed. What couldn't he sleep through, though? Those small, gasping sobs coming from his side. He flinched and rolled onto his side, slowly opening his eyes.

"Kyla?" he asked, watching said girl jump in her skin. She coughed, wiping at her eyes and nose before turning to the brunette boy. Tears had stained her cheek and her face had turned a light pink. "What's the matter?"

"I-I.. I remembered my mom..." she choked, closing her eyes tightly. She wrapped her arms around herself. "I...I heard the tires of the other car squeal...heard the rubber on the pavement...saw the rain...felt my mom - I felt her, James! I felt as though she was right there, touching me again!"

He remembered going to the funeral, as a friendship thing. How torn up she had been. He offered her a hug and she had clung to him for dear life, dug her nails into his back, almost refused to let go. He'd looked into the coffin and finally realized how pretty Shannon had been. She and Kyla, if one was older or younger, could have passed for sisters. He'd read about the crash in the papers, read how it was lucky that Kyla had survived.

"The last thing she said to me was 'I love you, baby'. Nine years old and I watched my mother die in front of me by some idiotic driver!" she whisper-yelled, letting tears flow. James sat up and, for the first time in forever, hugged Kyla. Held her tightly, let her cry on his shoulder. Just like at her mom's funeral, she clung onto him, dug her nails into his back, nestled her nose into his shoulder. He hugged her tight, closing his eyes, feeling the warmth of her tears on his shoulder. "I...can't imagine loosing anyone else close to me, either. I was so torn up when you guys left... I didn't want to sleep, I couldn't eat, I didn't even feel like I could was how it felt when I lost her..."

"Kyla," he pulled back, holding her face in both hands. He watched as two, big tears oozed over the corner of her eyes and poured down her face, running into his hands. He barely smiled, yet knew he wanted her happy inside. "I'm not leaving. I'm here until you tell me to go. Just say the word and I'm gone. I promise."

And, for once in six years, the smile that she smiled was, in fact, real. James noticed. It was the way her eyes lit up, her lips curled up, showing small bits of her teeth. It was the way her face slightly turned a light shade of pink, everything.

"Thank you," she said, her smile dimming back to it's usual fakeness. She had a hard time believing that he could keep that promise. So many people had walked out of her life and she hoped he lived up to his word. Her tears slowed, but still flowed. She shook off his hands and grabbed him into a hug, covering her face by his shoulder. Once again, she smiled her real smile through the tears and pain. James smiled, wrapping his arms around her.

* * *

**_Sorry for another short chapter. :)_**

**_My cousin's been staying with us, so it's kind of hard to find time to write without feeling guilty. :_**

**_Thank you all for being avid and active readers/subscribers/fans. I love you all~. :-)_**


	7. Broken Promises

Yes, weeks passed. Emily slowly forgave James, but still held a grudge and it was apparent. Everytime he was around, she'd be tensed and wouldn't make eye contact for more then a second. But that was okay. James didn't care what Emily thought about him. They were never close to begin with, although now he was on guard every time she'd be around. Kyla had gotten somewhat better. Her scars had started healing and Kendall had even talked her into wearing a t-shirt and jeans. It was a long argument (or debate, as Kendall put it) and even longer trying to get Kyla into a t-shirt, but she finally caved. Many at the Palm Woods were shocked by the turn of events, but chose not to say anything. After all, they all saw the scars on her arms, old and semi-new.

Kyla looked at her cellphone, sighing heavily. She was supposed to be at the pool twenty minutes ago. She checked her outfit, which was simply a plaid button up shirt, white cami, and blue jean shorts, and headed out the door. Since it was a nice day, she took the stairs, even though it added a good three minutes to her time frame. She turned the corner and waved to the few people in the lobby, turning the corner to get to the pool.

And _that's _when she stopped in her track. _That's_ when she could, literally, feel her heart break in half, when she felt her body go numb.

James had his arms wrapped around one of the Palm Wood's newest additions, Pamela Jones. She was tan, bleach blonde, and most definitely small. If it was just arms, Kyla wouldn't have minded. But the tongue war she did. She turned hot on her tail and started in to the lobby, turning the corner to go into the building. Emily froze, staring at Kyla. She smiled, waving.

"Hey Ky," she said, slinging her bag further onto her shoulder. "I've got to be at work in ten minutes," Kyla still found it interesting how everyone considered modelling a job, "so I'll be back around five."

"Alright," said Kyla, hearing her heart snap. She could feel her eyes watering as she still forced her fake smile, nodding. Emily blew a kiss and turned, walking out the front, waving frantically for a taxi. Kyla gave one final look over her shoulder, making slight eye contact with Pamela, before running for the stairs.

One of the best ways to get things out of your system, according to Kyla, was running. So, run she did. Straight up the stairs, down the hall, and into her apartment, locking the door behind her.

* * *

Emily opened the apartment door, finding it seemingly deserted. She blinked and walked through every room, trying the doors. Finally, she approached Kyla's room. The door wasn't locked, but she couldn't open it. Something was blocking it, and now she was beginning to fear the worst. She backed away from the door and hurried out into the hallway, straight to apartment 2J. She stood, staring at the door, awaiting the opening.

"Emii?" asked Logan, opening the door slowly. Emily looked as though she were about to break in half, her eyes were wide. "L-Let me get Kendall.."

"I just need all of you!" she yelped, tears slowly falling. Logan nodded and hollered for the others, following Emily to her apartment. Emily pointed at Kyla's door, her eyes still wide. "I... I-I can't get it open. Kyla's not here and...and...and.." she stopped speaking, choking on her tears, her voice turning into a sob.

"I'll get it, Logan, you stay here with Emily," Kendall instructed, pushing open the bathroom door. "Okay, so there's a window in here. James, Carlos, you two keep trying to get the door open. If I knock on the door, I'm in."

They watched the bathroom window open and Kendall step out. James and Carlos went to trying to push the door open and, within seconds, they heard the knock. They both stopped. Kendall looked around the room. It wasn't your average teenage bedroom. The curtains were dark tinted, keeping the light out. The carpet was blood red, the walls white, the bed black. He looked around for the bathroom door. He didn't have to struggle against it, for it was unlocked. He opened the door and froze.

"Shit, guys, call 9-1-1!" With that, Emily's sobs became louder.

* * *

**Okii, I'm really, REALLY SORRY that this is short and suckish. But I do plan to make the next chapter wonderful~3 Well, depends on what you call wonderful. By wonderful I mean gorey, sad, and maybe more? :**


	8. I'm So Sorry

_Kyla shut the bathroom door behind her. By this time, tears had fallen down her face, leaving her face red and puffy. She stared at herself in the mirror,growling lowly. No wonder he showed no interest in her. She searched through her bathroom drawer, Emily's bathroom drawer, every cabinet, drawer, everything, but she couldn't find her blade. That's what she needed. The cool, shining razor. But could she find it? No. She turned on her heels and walked to the kitchen, not finding any sharp knives, nor anything enough to cut flesh. She ran back into the bathroom, giving the mirror a demonic grin._

_She pulled her fist back and sent it into the glass, not wincing at the sound of glass shattering to pieces, nor flinching at the blood now running from her knuckles. She picked up one of the sharpest pieces and looked down at her wrist, pushing the glass into her pale skin. The skin engulfed the blade, pushing blood up out the sides. That still wasn't enough. Kyla pulled it along her flesh, watching as blood trickled over the side of her arms, falling down onto her legs and the floor. Still not enough! She took a deep breath and pulled the glass out, pushing it to another spot. And, again, blood trickled over the end, only more. More blood fell down her wrist, staining it a light pink as it went. She made an 'x' over both cuts, not feeling the pain any more. She looked at her other arm, then pulled her phone from her pocket. Two thirty. She had enough time._

_She dove the sharp end of the glass into her other wrist, watching amusedly as the blood fell from the new cut. Again, more cuts were made. She could feel her head getting dizzy, but she refused to fall. She looked at the glass and discarded it, reaching for a new one. She glanced it over, made sure it was sharp enough, and dove it into the palm of her hand. She winced a bit at first at the new feeling, but smiled after getting used to it. She traced out a name. Only one name. He was the cause of her pain, and she wanted to make sure he knew it. On the other hand, she did the same to the palm, leaving out his name._

_Sliding down the wall, she took a deep breath. "James...," she whispered before passing out of blood loss._

_

* * *

_

The doctor shut the hospital door behind him. It wasn't his day off, but it wasn't busy. That's when he heard the siren. No one had called, though, right? He glanced down at his watch and looked to the secretary. She was as baffled as he was, but nodded. He ran for the door, watching as they unloaded a gurnee. A pale, raven haired girl lay on it, blood stained clothes. Her blood had soaked through the sheets, leaving it all red.

"Sorry, Dr. Reynolds, we didn't have time to call in," explained one of the paramedics. Dr. Reynolds nodded in agreement, checking the girl's pulse as they ran through the halls.

"Where's her family?" he asked over the yelling of the secretary, who was shouting to make a room arranged and stat!

"Her roomate and friends are on their way. They didn't give out information about her parents though," sighed the paramedic, rounding the corner quickly. "She must've been desperate to get out of this world, because she's done a number on herself."

They ran into the now vacant room, setting up hurriedly.

* * *

It took quite a few hours (and by that, I mean four) to get Kyla stitched, but it was done. They had blood pumping into her, trying to refill her with the blood she needed. Emily, whose eyes had drooped, her face remained tear stained and red. Dr. Reynolds appeared in the hallway, a small, thankful smile across his face. Emily couldn't help but smile as tears fell from her face.

"Ms. Sanchez will be fine," he said, shaking her hand, slowly taking the seat in front of she and the boys, looking them all over. "However, I found something really interesting. She had a name engraved into her hand. At first I couldn't read it because of the blood, but when we stitched it, I finally found it."

Emily's face dropped and instantly she turned and stared at James. He had resumed looking at his hands, trying to find something better to look at. Emily launched herself at him, screaming loudly, her nails going for his cheeks. Security had come in, trying to restrain the small brunette, but she was impossible. She was screaming, kicking, biting at James, trying to kill him, quite literally. By the time she had gotten pried off, his face was red, he had a few scratches and a possible black eye.

"Ms. Connor, I understand you're angry, but getting violent will get you no where," lectured Dr. Reynolds, watching her cautiously as she took her seat again, huffing and puffing irritably. "I took a picture and thought maybe you'd want to see it. She'll be awake soon, but you'll have to give her some time to rest."

The picture was handed to Emily. She took it and got one look at it before her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth to contain the sob that she could feel approaching. The secretary, a small, short-haired blonde walked over and bent down, whispering into Dr. Reynolds' ear. He nodded and gave a word of thanks before she walked away.

"Well," he started, standing up. "Kyla's awake now. She just woke up. We've got a counselor going in to talk to her. I'll be sure to tell you guys when you can go in and see her."

"Thank you, Doctor," Kendall sighed, giving Emily's shoulder a squeeze.

Around 9:30pm, it was announced Kyla was ready for visitors. Emily pushed past the rest, running into the room. Kyla gently smiled her fake smile and opened her arms. Emily obliged and ran into them, sobbing into her friend's shoulder. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't force herself to be mad.

"Kyla, I love you," she whispered, clutching Kyla's gown.

"I love you too, Emii."

"You've got other visitors," choked Emily, standing up. "I'll send them in one at a time. I'll be back last."

Kendall was the first to come in. He gave Kyla a hug, then proceeded to lecture her on how stupid she had been and threatened to kill her if she did it again. They both shared a small laugh at the irony and he left after giving her a bear hug. Logan was next. He looked her up and down, sighed, and begged her not to do it again. At the end of his visit, he gave her a frigid hug and walked out. Carlos walked in, bounding on the bed, wrapping Kyla in his arms, apologizing over and over again, even though she tried to tell him he had no reason to be sorry. He pleaded her to make a smarter decision next time and left, patting her hand. The Knight women would've come, but they had to do other things. It was something along the lines of Katie didn't like hospitals and didn't want to go in one, so Mama Knight had to occupy her. Kendall knocked on the door, poking his head in.

"You've got one last visitor," he said, stepping in slightly. "But we wanted to make sure you'd be okay with him coming in or not.."

"If you're referring to James," Kyla started, folding her arms over her chest, "he can come in. Dr. Reynolds told me you must face a problem head on, rather then doing something like this."

With that, Kendall was gone, but soon replaced by James. He looked freaked and glanced around the room. His eyes finally landed on her. Her arms were completely bandaged, including her palms. The bandages were still soaked with the crimson colored blood. A small IV came from under one bandage, pumping blood into her. Her face was paler than usual, and her eyes had dulled. He finally caught her facial expression and she was _not _happy. At all.

"...Hi," he tried, rubbing his neck. He went to sit on the foot of the bed and she moved her foot to that spot. "Okay, guess I'm not sitting there."

Minutes passed with no change between the two. Kyla was still irritated and James felt hurt that she wouldn't let him sit with her.

"So. Why'd you do it?" he asked flatly, his hands going into his jacket pocket.

"Because," was the only response he got.

"Because why?"

"I'm pretty stupid to think your promise meant you wouldn't hurt me, aren't I? I mean, here I am, just a teenage girl, already handling more than any kid can. Thanks for breaking me completely, James."

"Breaking you?" asked James, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't do anything! Emily came to get us and she was in a panic and you fuckin' sliced your wrists and palms open! How the hell did _I _break you!"

"_Don't fucking raise your voice at me!_" Kyla shouted, leaning forward in her bed, despite the IV, which held nervously on her arm. She raised a finger and pointed it at him, her eyes burning to anger. "_You _kissed _her_!" James' face fell. "Yeah! Didn't think I'd find out, did you? I fucking _saw _it! Saw it _ALL!_ I saw your tongue going down _her _throat! Don't pull that, 'I didn't do any such thing' shit, because I'm not as stupid as you take me for!"

"Kyla..."

"Get out!"

"Ple-"

"_GET OUT_!" Kyla screamed, throwing the nearest object, which happened to be a TV remote, at him. He flinched and ducked from it, covering his head. She grabbed anything she could, which wasn't much other than magazines and a few pillows. James finally got the point and ran out. "And don't come back either!"

Even as he walked down the hall, he could hear her sobs following. He stopped and looked back, only to hear a small cry out of, "I'm so sorry, mom! I'm so sorry James, I'm sorry Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Emily... I'm so sorry!"

* * *

**So, a little more angsty than I had planned, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut... Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I worked for awhile on it and brainstormed. My goal was to get at least another chapter in this week and by golly I did it! 3**


	9. What Haunts Us

_The small girl sat in the gurnee, screaming, kicking against the restraints that had been put to keep her down. Even through the thunder and lightening, her voice was clear._

_"Mommy!" she pleaded. Rain dribbled down her face and lap, her small body drenched. She watched as the white sheet folded over her mother, and her voice became louder, crazed. "No! No! She doesn't like the dark! Uncover her, please! Please save mommy!"_

_The paramedics begged her to calm down, seeing as she wouldn't get anywhere while screaming. Some of them even tried to tell her that Shannon was dead, but she wouldn't listen. They loaded her into the back of the ambulance and tightened the restraints. Finally, the only sound was her sobs._

_The funeral was beautiful, as most would say. Or at least, the service was. Flowers decorated everywhere. A low, piano humming could be heard in the background, but Kyla wasn't concerned about that, no. She wasn't interested by the ceremony, even though she hadn't been to a funeral before. She was more amused at the people who would look in the coffin, wipe at their eyes, and walk away. Were they expecting the same thing she was? Waiting for Shannon to sit up, look around, and yawn?_

_Too bad it wouldn't happen. She sadly wiped her eyes, looking up to her father. Surprisingly, he wasn't a wreck. Or at least, not as big of a wreck as everyone else. She shrugged it off and watched people come in, walk around, and leave. Finally, she couldn't hold back anymore. She began to cry and watch the door. She couldn't help but choke up as she saw the same, four boys she'd come to befriend. Logan looked around nervously, visibly uncomfortable. Kendall had never been to a funeral, but he didn't mind the smell of plastic that seemed to linger in the funeral home. Carlos had, in fact, been to a funeral before. The smell didn't bother him, it was all the tears and fuss. James tried to seem calm and cool, but it was evident he was definitely uncomfortable. He'd shift his weight from foot to foot, look around, then repeat._

_After a bit of urging, Logan went first. He gave Kyla an awkward hug, apologized for her loss, and moved to her father. Anthony Sanchez was a big man. Well, built right. He was tall, muscular. When Logan approached him, he could feel the adrenaline begin to pump in his veins._

_"Mr. Sanchez?" he asked, looking down at the ground._

_"Hm?" grunted Anthony. He looked down at Logan and gave a soft smile, crouching down to his height. "You're that Mitchell boy, aren't you?"_

_"L-Logan," Logan replied, smiling barely. He extended his hand and Anthony, even in a state of shock, took the small boy's hand and shook it. "I'm sorry for your loss. I sure hope you cope well!"_

_"Huh! Quite a smart boy for your age, aren't you?" he smiled, ruffling Logan's hair. "Thank you for caring. You've been a good friend to Kyla. You're welcome at our house whenever you'd like."_

_Logan said thank you. He avoided the coffin at all costs, going to take a seat on a wood chair. Carlos went next, barrelling through the line. He smiled and gave Kyla a bear hug. He heard her gasp from lack of breath and let go, flashing a toothy grin. At the melencholy look on her face, he smiled sheepishly._

_"Uhh... I'm sorry about your mommy, Kyle.." he said quietly. He rubbed his neck and jogged off to Logan._

_Kendall walked through the line, giving Kyla a small hug. He looked at her and frowned, trying to make her smile again. "I'm sorry about mom," he said. He'd always called her mom, for they spent enough time together that Shannon _was _his second mom. "Hey, my mom said you're welcome over at our house whenever you need somewhere to go, if you ever do."_

_"Thanks Kendall," she whispered, giving him another soft hug. Kendall chased off after the other two, not wanting to referee, even though he knew he'd have to, obviously. James nervously made his way over. He was one of the last people there, with the exception of a few adults and the other three. By the time he got to Kyla, she was even more of a wreck than before. She'd definitely been crying and tear stains were on her face. She choked and he gave her a tight hug. She burried her face into his shoulder and her nails dug into the fabric of his t-shirt._

_"Ky, that poor boy is going to have holes in his shirt if you're not careful," lectured Anthony._

_Kyla let go slowly. James took her hand and guided her towards the coffin. She began protesting, saying she didn't want to look in, but he tried again. Finally, she caved and agreed to go look at her mother one final time. She squeezed his hand and peered into the 'cage'._

_Shannon was still beautiful. Her brown hair had been curled around her face. Anthony chose to bury her in a yellow sun dress. Thankfully, her natural tan hadn't darkened much. Kyla choked back a sob, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. James looked down at Shannon, remembering her beauty perfectly. The dead woman would forever be etched into his mind. He guided Kyla back over to the boys._

Kyla knew she wasn't awake. She was in a dream world, but everything felt real. She wasn't dead, yet. She looked around. The hospital room seemed to be lightened up. The white walls had more of a blue tint to them and the plain, white linoleum tiles looked silver. She brought her hand up. The bandages weren't there, but she could see the scars. She glanced around. A sudden flash of light appeared in the corner of the room. It was bright, and gold-colored. She brought her arm up to protect her eyes from the rays. They disappeared and a figure emerged.

"M-mom?" Kyla choked. Shannon smiled, flattening her sundress. She took a seat next to her daughter and took her hand in her own.

"Hello dear," she said, her smile lighting up the room. "Smile, baby. I want to see you smile. I haven't seen it since James made you smile."

Kyla winced. "He didn't make me smile," she scoffed. "The idea of him not hurting me made me smile."

"Which would be why you're in this place," Shannon looked around the room. "What he did...Was it really that bad that you'd have to do this?"

"Do what, mom?"

"Don't play coy," she flipped the hand over and gestured to the 'James' scar on her hand, then down to the other scars. "Did he do something that could be this bad?"

"No," Kyla sighed, rubbing her arm. "Dad helped in making some of these."

"He couldn't have!"

"He did, mom! Instead of watching me, why didn't you ever watch him?"

"I..." she stopped. For once, she couldn't think of a reply. She hadn't watched Anthony. She had been busy, trying to make sure Kyla had made right decisions. She thought back. She remembered a couple times, but always tried to forget. She rewatched her late-husband lift his hand, and then she'd look away. Never look. Now it made sense. Perfect sense.

"James only made the recent ones," Kyla added. She watched her mother's face turn from once blissful to agonizing. It was wrong to make her suffer like this, but it wasn't her fault.

"Oh, Kyla..." Shannon took a deep breath. "You're going down the wrong road. Please. I don't want you to end up with me before it's your time."

"Ma.."

"Shoot! My time's going!" She reached out and embraced her daughter in a quick hug and sat back in her spot, holding Kyla's hand tightly in hers. "I love you, my little angel."

"I love you too, mommy," Kyla said, smiling truly once more. Shannon's smile turned the room brighter and parts of her began disinegrating, disappearing in a form of wind.

* * *

**Okay, I think I'm done with flashbacks for now. I think after this it'll go with James for awhile, than they'll reemerge together. 3**

**Stay goregous! xx**


	10. One In The Same

**Whoop whoop! I finally got another chapter up, my loves! I hope you enjoy this one, because it came quickly! [hahahaha, that's what she said!] There will be more to come. I kind of felt like an ass after writing this. I'm so mean to Jamie. (: I thought I'd be nice this time. (:**

**

* * *

**

The boys had returned to their semi-normal lives that night. James approached the living room and sat by Carlos, who was busily playing a video game. He searched for his controller, only to not see it anywhere. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Carlos.

"Dude, where's my controller?" he asked flatly, holding Kendall's green controller. They each had different colored controllers: James was blue, Kendall was green, Carlos was red, and Logan was yellow.

Carlos made a shocked face. "Are you going to hurt your controller and use another controller?" he asked seriously yet sarcastically, feigning hurt. "Your controller might go and try to off itself by hanging itself!"

"Carlos, you're an ass." James grunted, sulking into the couch. "You act like this entire scenario is my fault! I don't even know what I did!"

"You're a dirty liar, Diamond!" Emily yelled from Kendall's room. Kendall had invited her over to try and calm her down. Obviously, it wasn't working.

"Em, shush," came Kendall's soothing response, then the room fell quiet. James drummed his fingers on the couch, watching Carlos kill off characters in the game.

"Can you just tell me where my controller is?" he asked, agitated.

"I dunno, it might be in the kitchen, searching for a meatcleaver or steak knife," he replied, not looking away from the game. James finally stood up and walked towards the kitchen, kicking the gaming console on his way, giving a small smirk as it came unplugged and flew across the room, hitting the wall. Carlos sat, his controller still in his hand, his mouth agape.

Logan sat in the kitchen with Katie, both playing chess. James sat across from them both, watching them play.

"Logan, can I talk to you?" he asked, watching Katie move her piece.

"Depends. Will I become depressed afterwords?" Logan asked seriously, moving his piece without a thought. Katie groaned out 'rats' and jumped Logan's pawn.

"Jesus! Can't you guys at least treat me like a human being!" James shouted, slamming his hands down on the table.

Katie sent him a dirty glance. "Was there really the need to do that?" she snapped, readjusting the pieces that had been moved. His cheeks inflated and finally puffed out air as he stood, slamming his chair into the table, causing all the pieces to fall over. "Dangit James! I was winning!"

"In two moves, Logan would've owned you anyway, so you wouldn't have won."

James stomped out of the apartment and straight down to the pool, his eye locking onto Pamela. She looked up and smiled, waving him over. He sat next to her, leaning his hands on his forehead.

"Jamie, what's up?" came the voice, smooth as silk. She placed a hand on his shoulder, only to have it smacked away. She pulled a look of hurt.

"You're the matter!" he shouted finally, staring her in the face. "Because of you my friend is in the hospital!"

Pamela giggled. "You act like it's all _my _fault," she said, her eyebrows pulling together. "_You _could've said no. _You_ could've always ignored me that day. _You _could've pulled away. So how is this my problem?"

"You're a heartless bitch, y'know that?" he asked, obviously irritated, annoyed, and, overall, betrayed.

"Haven't I heard that before," she said flatly, resuming reading her magazine. The conversation was finished, and he couldn't possibly drag it out any longer. He stood up, called for Kelly, and stood in the front of the Palm Woods, watching as the limo pulled up.

"Where are we going today?" Kelly asked, opening the door from the inside.

"The hospital."

* * *

James knocked lightly on the door marked 345. There was no reply, so he opened it slowly. There she was, fast asleep. He took the chair next to her bed and sat in it, leaning back into it. He looked her over. For once, he noticed things he had never noticed.

She was smaller. When they had been kids, 3rd grade at that, she had been a bit chunky. The attitude she used to have made it funny to see, and he could remember laughing like a lunatic everytime she'd get mad. For that, she'd threaten to beat him up, and then he'd stop laughing, but only for moments. Finally, she'd crack and join the laughter. Now, here she was, smaller then Logan and Camille. He'd never noticed it.

Her skin was paler. She used to have a fantastic tan when she was younger, before her mom died. She'd always run around in the sunshine and hide in a pair of bremuda shorts and a t-shirt. Now, it was evident she hadn't been out in the sun in years. She was so white, he could've mistaken her for the bedsheet.

And, last but not least, he noticed the bandages. The blood soaked bandages. Her hand had become unwrapped, and he took it within his own hand. He slowly turned it over and glanced at his name etched into the skin. He felt terrible now, looking at it. All the damage he had caused, he now saw. He saw it within her body. The damage he and her father had caused.

He and her father. He never thought they'd be in the same sentence together. Now that he thought of it, they were almost one in the same. Her father had caused emotional damage, so had he. Kyla slit herself open to get rid of the pain her father had caused, now she was doing it because of the pain James had caused. The thought made tears well up in his eyes. He was as bad as the alcoholic child abuser was, to some extents. He put her hand in his and scooted closer to the bed. He tilted his head down to stare at her hand and watched as a tear landed on the back of her hand. He suddenly noticed he was crying. He gave her hand a light squeeze and sighed, his body shaking.

"I'm sorry, Maria. I'm so, so sorry..."


	11. I'm Falling

_Kyla walked around a dark land. The only colors (besides herself, obviously) were from tombstones. But what's more was that she, herself, wasn't in a cemetary. She wasn't awake and she knew it. She was fast asleep. Suddenly, a hand reached up from the ground and clutched onto her ankle, dragging it towards the dirt. She opened her mouth to scream, and a hand instantly muffled the sound. She looked down on it. It was pure black, but the nails were white, sharp as razor blades, and as long as her very own long fingers. She put her hand over it and moved it enough to scream, "Help me, mommy!"_

_But the hands were ruthless, and her trying was in vain. There was, quite literally, no way to get away. Another hand wrapped around her waist, digging it's nails into the flesh. She screamed behind the hand, tears pouring from her eyes. The nails dug into her ankles. She grasped the hand over her mouth and, with her free hand, reached out into the darkness. She felt a drop of water hit her hand. With that drop, a slit of light opened. She looked up to it and tugged the hand away from her mouth. _

_"I'm sorry, Maria. I'm so, so sorry," she heard faintly, watching the hands disappear. With that, she felt herself jolt and..._

She was awake. She sighed at the sudden force and kept her eyes closed. She felt water hit her hand, along with a warmth holding her hand.

"I'm seriously so sorry... I... I can't even think straight any more..," James said, gripping her hand tighter, letting lose everytime a tear would hit her hand, then squeeze it again. "If I could take it back in a second, don't believe I wouldn't."

"Are you telling the truth this time?" Kyla groaned, lifting a hand to brush hair from his face. She finally saw a sight she'd never seen in her life. Tears had stained James' tanned cheeks. His face had paled from crying and he sniffed, reaching up with a free hand to wipe the snot from his nose. His hazel eyes begged her to understand.

"I am," he said, dropping her hand, using the hand to stroke her face instead. She nuzzled into his hand, a small smile creeping onto her face. She brought a hand up and placed it ontop of his, closing her eyes. Even through the smell of sterile hospital equipment, she could smell the Baracuda Man-spray James wore. They sat like that, peacefully.

Finally, he heard her voice. "James?" she whispered. He looked up. She'd leaned back onto the pillows. He moved to move a piece of hair from her face. She smiled meekly. "You don't want me, do you?" He didn't answer, just stared at her. "I wouldn't blame you. I'm not good for you, you're not good for me. I'm a nervous wreck who has anxiety problems. You're a goregous player. We aren't supposed to intermix. It's just not normal."

"Have you noticed no one is normal anymore?" he asked, giving a nervous laugh. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, sitting back. He sat, puzzled.

"Just let it go," she begged. She closed her eyes and they listened to the silence. Soon, the only sound was the sound of her slow and steady breathing. He stared at her and thought over what she said. He moved her gently over and climbed into the bed next to her, resting his head on the pillow. Not long after, he was breathing perfectly in time with her.

* * *

**Yes! Just in time for Valentine's Day! I'm excited. :)**

**My boyfriend told me he's trying to write me a song. It's cute.**

**Xoxo,**

**hiye101**


	12. Unexpected Surprises

"Of course," Emily scoffed, scribbling writing onto a card. Kyla looked up from the writing she had been doing and stared at the brunette girl, eyebrow cocked. "Freaking Diamond doesn't show up on the day you're home from the hospital."

"Drop it, Emily." Kyla said firmly, signing another card, sliding it back across the table to her friend.

Emily didn't want to drop the subject. "Well, his dumbass practically got you in there in the first place," she hissed.

"Emily goddamn Connor," the ravenette hissed. Finally, the girl was quiet. Kyla cleared her throat and sealed an envelope shut. "I told him he didn't have to. He was going to come, he had even told a party he wasn't coming. I told him to go and have fun instead."

"Quit defending those who can defend themselves," Emily sneered, finally standing and leaving the room. Kyla watched her and looked down at the 'thank you' letter in her hand. She wasn't guilty for her choice. She had made the right choice, right? She didn't want him to feel as though he had to be around her. In fact, it may have been better for them both if they were hardly together. She set the letter down and sighed, reclining on the couch. She hadn't reclined but maybe two seconds and the phone rang. She decided it would be in her best interest to let it ring. It stopped ringing and she could hear Emily's calm voice in the back. She heard the frail voice dim and then footsteps echoed. Emily walked into the hallway, pale as a sheet. Kyla flung her legs over the side of the couch and walked over. The blue-eyed girl put her hand over the voice receiver of the phone. "Kyles...it's your dad."

Everything seemed to spin out of place as she reached for the phone. Shaking hands took it and held it to her ear. "H-Hello?" she barely managed to choke out the words.

"Kyla?" came the obviously irritated voice through the phone. She mummbled out a yes. "You clearly know who this is. Have you any idea why I'm calling you?"

"None in the least. I thought the court told you if you were drunk you couldn't call me?"

"I'm not drunk." Even though he sounded assuring, she could feel the alcohol in his words.

"Why don't I believe you?" she snarled. He chuckled behind the phone.

"Kyla Marie, haven't you learned not to snap at elders?" His chuckling slowly died down.

"Look, _Anthony_, I don't have time for your-"

"Snotty as hell, just like your mom," Anthony grumbled. "I'll just get to the point then. I'm coming out to LA this weekend. I figured I'd stop and see my _darling _daughter Kyla."

Kyla's grip on the phone tightened. "I thought the court said you couldn't come see me," she started, "seeing as when we went to court for my emancipation, I had several black eyes and you were under the influence."

"I went back to court," her father hummed. "Took a urine sample, did a breathalyzer test, I'm perfectly sober." _At that point in time_, Kyla thought. "So I'll be out seeing the two of you. Well, Kys, I'd love to chat, but I have other important business to attend to."

There was no chance for her to say good-bye. The phone slipped from her hands and she slunk into the couch, her head going between her hands. Emily sat down beside her, wrapping an arm protectively around her shoulders. "What was that about, Ky?"

"H-he's coming..." the green eyed girl muttered, her eyes wide in disbelief. "I-I thought...we were safe. I thought the judge would follow up on his promise and make sure that man never came to see me again..."

"Oh, Kyle...I'm so, so sorry," Emily sighed, pulling the girl into her arms. Kyla shook weakly, no tears left in her eyes. She was scared, mostly of what would happen. Today was Tuesday. Friday wasn't that far away, neither the weekend. He would be here. He would be here, ready to finish what he left behind. The thought scared her horrendously.

To her, this was life. It couldn't get any better then this...right?


	13. Dear Readers,

Hey, guys. It's me, HideInYourEyes101.

As unfortunate as it is for me to say, I am discontinuing this story.

I've been so happy with how many readers it's gotten, but I just...

I'm not as big of a Rusher anymore. :\

Thank you all for reading and your reviews. 3

Love,

HIYE101.


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